Summer Reflections I

So, first I want to state that it's pretty sad that I haven't posted in so long that I actually forgot the link for my blog and had to go through facebook to get it....Fail.

Since May 14th I've been in Andrews, NC at Snowbird Wilderness Outfitters (the best camp in the world...but I may be a little biased ;)

It's exciting to be back but surreal in a way.....I can't believe that last summer here went by so fast and even now we're nearly done with the second week of staff training! Crazy how time flies.

This summer is supper exciting and encouraging for me because not only do I get to return to work in an incredible ministry setting with several people I worked with last year (many of them close friends to me now) but there's the addition of getting to know new staffers and I daily find myself excited about having the opportunity to meet so many awesome brothers and sisters in Christ.

As is typical with any camp schedule ours is packed full and staff training is no exception! It's been a challenge going from getting up at 11am and going to bed at 12am to getting up at 6:00am and going to bed at 10/11pm.

(p.s. At this point I want to state how much i truly do love Raebae...and it has nothing to do with the fact she is sitting right next to my arm watching me type this ;)

But it's rejuvenating knowing that, even now, we're preparing to minister to hundreds of kids this summer and that we do that through everything we do now....whether that's painting the skate park or folding hundreds of t-shirts. =)

That's all I have for now. I feel like my thoughts are supper scattered right now and making it hard for me to concentrate on writing (which, if any of you know me...is insane in itself). But I will pose more later. There's so much I've been learning and thinking about even in just the past week and a half and I can't wait to see what the rest of the summer holds!

Reflections from Romans 4/7/11

This summer the SWO staff are going through the book of Romans together. The following is from my journal and just some of my thoughts coming from Romans 2:16, and Romans 2:24-29 that really hit me hard: In Romans verses 24-29 Paul begins to talk about circumcision. Doing one thing outwardly and yet acting another way. It is a warning against hypocrisy. A warning against 'acting' without inner change...your actions and attitude both must change not simply our outward appearance of perceived obedience. We must remember that we represent God above all. When we teach/speak in a certain way but our actions contradict, others look at us and shake their heads in amusement. "They are Christians?". We make a mockery out of God. But, (and here's where the Holy Spirit whacked me over the head) when we obey God's commands but our attitudes, and motivation contradict those actions, we do the same thing even though those around us may be none the wiser. We mock God to his face. Mock: To hold up, to scorn or contempt; ridicule, to cheapen. To defy, and make futile. (adj: a sham; false imitation). We really, really, really need to think about this and understand the ramifications of this! "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. a man reaps what he sows." (Galatians 6:7). Do we realize who we are 'playing games' with? We cannot lie to, or manipulate God. God knows our hearts, our secrets, and the motivation behind our actions. This goes back to Romans 2:16 where it talks about "when God judges men's secrets through Jesus Christ" We must be really stupid or we just do not understand. It is not just an issue of actions...it's about attitude and motivation. How do we mock God in our daily lives?

• By thinking he can be an accessory to our lives


• By preaching/teaching in a way that we do not act


• By acting in a way that does not fit our attitudes (hearts)


• by doing things we know are sin but continuing in them anyways


• by ignoring the fact that God is sovereign and we either obey him or reject him


• By forgetting that Christ was nailed to the cross for the sin we daily justify to fulfill our personal gratification


• By making Christianity a list of 'dont's' and seeing how close to the line we can get without 'breaking the rules'


• By forgetting that our lives are not our own


• By forgetting that life is a battle not a game. We do not have the right to play/toy with our bodies, hearts, minds, and relationships however we want. We are called to a higher purpose and higher standard.


• By forgetting that we do not deserve anything. That kindness, tolerance, patience, and love our gifts from God bestowed out of his grace toward us.


• By forgetting that the consequences of sin is death and it is ONLY through Christ that we are saved.

This journal entry laid out the question for me to answer: How often do I mock God? How often do I pray that he will give me the right attitude...in addition to giving me the strength to obey his commands? I think somewhere down the line I forget that attitude does matter to the God that knows my every thought.

I'm doing this new idea where I read a Psalm every day. This reminded be of Psalm 51 when David came before the Lord broken and repentant, crying "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me" (verses 10-11).

David got it. Do we get it?

The present, the future and the waiting in-between

I happened to look at a calendar today (which...if you happen to know me is a big deal...because I am not usually one to keep a schedule or, for that matter, know what day of the week it is!) and I was shocked to discover how fast time has gone by. I graduated in December unsure what in the world I was going to do the 4 or 5ish months until the summer. Now, the summer is almost here! I have always been a 'go getter': knowing what I would like to do, making plans on how I could get there, and actively pursuing what I needed to do to accomplish that. For the past year I've felt a steady call to pursue a career in Wilderness therapy...not as a wilderness guide but as a licensed counselor. Within this wide area of work I've discovered a call, as well as a deep passion, to work with teenage girls who have been through sexual trauma. It's a long road a head of me to get to where I'll be able to do this (3 years of a masters program, and a year, possibly 2, of specialty training as a sex therapist) but I am super excited about where God is leading me....and yet....here I am sitting at home waiting. I've applied to graduate school for January...there really is nothing to do but wait...and I constantly find myself impatient and ready to go NOW. However, as God has reminded me many times in my life, I find myself again reminded that if I spend to much time thinking about, and planning the future...I miss the present, and the opportunities he's giving me right now. It is different to be home after 4 and 1/2 years away. I have no friends here, I have no job and one can only re-watch so many seasons of House without wondering..."what AM i doing?" My answer: waiting. God has a reason for having me at home right now. Instead of being impatient that I can't run ahead into the direction he is calling me...i should be grateful, and take advantage of the time he has given me with my family. In only about a month (or 41 days...but who's counting) the summer will be here and I will have the amazing opportunity to serve at Snowbird again. Thinking back on last summer I remember how important it was to take advantage of each day, and the time we had with each of our campers...I wasn't thinking ahead a week to what church I would have, I was completely occupied with the campers I had at that moment, and very aware of the short amount of time I had with them. The same will be true this summer. Why am I not like this everyday...right now for instance? Shouldn't I be taking advantage of the time I have in the present? the opportunities God has given me now? instead of being impatient that it would be time for something else? God has a reason for everything. I prepare for the future how I can now...but the future is in his hands (Jeremiah 29:11). I will go to graduate school (in January if it's his will) but that is not now. Even as i submit and surrender my future to God...I should do the same with the present. The present help prepares us for the future and I should be praying that God would use this time, that I am at home, to strengthen the relationship I have with my family, to show them love, appreciation, and to help me grow in my walk with him.

What Voice do you listen too?

I was reading through a magazine the other day and came across this.

It seems like such a simple chart but as i read through it a couple times I began to be convicted about how often I've ignored God's voice in my life, even as I embrace the lies of Satan. ("I know you love me and want the best for me God...but I don't want to listen to that right now cause I'm to busy being discouraged and worrying about what's happening...can i get back to you?")

This chart reminded me of John 10:1-18

In this passage several things stuck out to me. The first was the wording used in verse 3. "The watchman opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice." (NIV). In the counseling classes I took last semester (and even in the communication class freshman year) we talked about the difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is what we did when our parents lectured us as children/teenagers, and what we do in particularly boring college classes. When you hear someone you are aware that they are speaking but your brain is otherwise engaged...hearing is passive. In this verse Jesus uses the word listen. Listening is active, it is making a conscious effort to take what a person is saying and to learn from it/take it to heart. The sheep in the passage do not just hear the shepherd, they listen to him and follow him.

How often do we hear God vs. listen to God?

The other thing I noted in this passage was in verse 4-5 which reads "When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice."

How well do we know God's voice?

Even while i was tempted to brush off this chart as somewhat obvious I was convicted over the several times in my life that I have mistaken the lies of Satan for the voice of God...especially in the area of condemnation vs. conviction.

As I've been doing my personal Bible study this past year it's really been hitting me how crucial it is to be in the Word. How can we know God's voice if we do not know him? And how can we know him if we do not study his Word?

The Word is how we recognize the voice of God and how we can contend against the voice/lies of Satan.

I found this little chart a great reminder that I need to be constantly checking who I'm listening too, who I'm ignoring, and using the Word of God to combat the voice of Satan and his lies against me. For me, that starts in Romans 8:1-3. =)

Finally got one!

So I've been thinking about getting a blog for a while. I think I may have created one before but didn't think I had anything very interesting to say. However, the past couple years, and months God has been showing and teaching me some incredible things and I feel very strongly that the next couple years are going to be incredible...full of oppertunity and chances to grow. I can't wait!